Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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