Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
