saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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