if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize