i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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