Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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