It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
