When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
