Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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