This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
