I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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