I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
