apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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