I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
