Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
