Whod you bang
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
