What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
