Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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