I'm drive I can fine osifer
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
