I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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