K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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