Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
