drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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