I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My bed smells like the plague
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
