I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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