I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
