Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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