I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
