Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
that may or may not have been my penis.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
