I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize