Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
