I think my fart just growled at me.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
