what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
