its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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