I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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