Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize