Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
