glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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