Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dignity is for republicans.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
