He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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