He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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