a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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