Christians are straight up FREAKS
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
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