almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
