Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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