i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
