eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
