I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
