Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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