I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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