for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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