why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Did I show you my penis last night?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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