My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dignity is for republicans.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
