just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
