I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
